Chocolate Shakes and Strange Fics
by AthenaetVenus
Summary: My first fic. It's got a plot but it doesn't tie in with anything at all. No one is dead cuz I hated the last book and have chosen to ignore it's existence.


Kay, this is really weird, but not too bad

Kay, this is really weird, but not too bad. I think. Flames will be used for roasting chestnuts. Let the insanity begin.

AthenetVenus was staring at the blank screen in front of her. "Writer's block, writer's block," she groaned. All I can think of are pathetic, plotless self-insertion fics that I can't even figure out how to insert myself into! I must search for other fics to find out how one insert's oneself."(Scans computer screen before laughing insanely and giving an insane grin) "Ah-ha!! I must simply write myself in. Duh!!"(Whack herself in head with computer. Unfortunately her computer is a laptop, so the keyboard is attached to the computer and therefore rather heavy.)"Ughhh!" groaned AthenaetVenus before beginning to write.

The Animorphs were all sitting in the woods. They were bored and had absolutely nothing to do. (A/N: Rather like me before beginning this fic.) Cassie couldn't see any animals, There wasn't a mall for Rachel or a Cinnabon for Ax, Tobias was full, Jake wasn't making life-or-death decisions, and Marco couldn't make any jokes because there wasn't any material. His last chance for a joke had been when Rachel had sat up and asked if anyone wanted to play the cloud game, and the he had been so sure the world had ended that he hadn't bothered. Jake had bothered, but no one had laughed. (Surprise, surprise.) So they had returned to Lethargia.

"Bored?" asked AthenaetVenus's voice.

The Animorphs jump before realizing who the voice must belong to. Fanfic author. Ax sighs and shakes his head. I may as well go now, Prince Jake. Fanfic authors all either ignore me or kill me. 

Jake nods. "Okay, Ax. Don't call me Prince."

"No, wait!" says AthenaetVenus. "I like Ax, and I don't think I'm going to kill anyone." Ax turns back around.

AthenaetVenus walks into view. "Except maybe Rachel, I might kill Rachel."

"What!?" says Rachel. "Why you little…"

"Back off blond," says AthenaetVenus, brandishing her computer. "I'm the one with the keyboard."

Rachel steps back a little.

"Why?" asks Cassie.

"Why what, o moralizing one?" AthenaetVenus asks.

"Why might you kill Rachel?"

" 'Cause Tobias is hot and he likes Rachel, and I can't figure out how to get her and Marco together. Or her and Ax. Luckily for you I'm not one of those wierdos who wants to get her with Jake. And I like stories with some plot, so I can't just erroneously pair people up, even with me"

"Did she just say Rachel with her?" asks Jake.

"Aarggh!! No, you idiot" growls AthenaetVenus. "I said Marco and Rachel, Ax and Rachel, and Tobias and me."

You also mentioned Rachel and Prince Jake. Ax points out.

Ewwww. says Tobias. Sicko. 

"You are beyond lucky I said I wouldn't kill you. I said not Rachel and Jake. And his name is Jake. Just Jake. No Prince. If anyone deserves a royal title, it's me, just for putting up with you!" yells AthenaetVenus, before falling into a sudden ponderous silence.

NO comes the Ellimist's voice from no where. YOU CAN'T DO THAT. HAVING THEM KILL EACH OTHER COUNT'S AS KILLING THEM BECAUSE YOU ARE THE AUTHOR.

"Crap," says AthenaetVenus, " You show up at the worst times, do you know that?"

Do his sudden appearances and disappearances annoy humans as well? asks Ax.

"Beyond all reason," says Marco.

Hey, if you get Rachel and Marco together will this torture fic stop? says Tobias.

"Tobias!" yells Rachel.

"Yes, of course," say AthenaetVenus, brightly, then looks hurt. "But if you call it a torture fic again it's Kentucky Fried Hawk for Marco and Jake's dinner."

Okay, fine. Here's how to get them together… the group hears Tobias say before he goes to private thought speech.

" That might actually work!" exclaims AthenaetVenus. "Of course, it has all the elements of some smutty novel, which I hate, but it will work. Now to write it! Plothole!"::snaps fingers:: 

Suddenly about a hundred nameless, faceless people appear. (OK, not really faceless, headless people dancing would be creepy, but you know what I mean.) There is loud music playing and it is basically a party. All of the Animorphs are in human morph, because since the people aren't really faceless they have eyes and an Andalite would kinda freak them out. Rachel, Cassie, and AthenaetVenus all have on white dresses. Marco and Rachel are on a collision course both holding chocolate shakes. They bump into each other and chocolate shake goes flying. They start fighting and basically reenact the Rachel/ Ross "I love you" scene except that it's about whose fault it is that Rachel's dress is ruined and when they get to the "I love you" part there's a whole lot of huhing from the nameless, faceless people and all the Animorphs, including Ax, who doesn't know what it means but likes the way it sounds.

"Yay! It worked!" yells AthenaetVenus.

"Told ya," says Tobias (in human morph). "Want to dance?"

__

Yay! It worked! Thinks AthenaetVenus. "Sure."

So Marco and Rachel dance and Tobias and AthenaetVenus dance and of course Cassie and Jake dance and I put a timely and merciful end to this insane pointless fic.

Review people, review!! This is my first fic so don't be too harsh, just honest. Thank you for reading even if you don't review.


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